THE COMEBACK:

HEY DORK, ANY PHONE CALLS FOR ME?

YES! THE VILLAGE CALLED. THEY’D LIKE THEIR IDIOT BACK. YOU BETTER GET GOING.
THE MESSAGE:
During my lifetime, I have been extremely fortunate to have associated with some outstanding and dear friends. Heading the list would be my beautiful and insightful wife. She has recently passed but is always with me in memories and spirit.
- When confronted with difficulty there exist within us the strength to carry on.
- Accept that you must always make adjustments in your life.
- One cannot control what others do or fail to do.
- The road ahead is always bumpy and sometimes steep.
- There are times where one cannot see the road ahead.
- Some people are too busy trying to find themselves.
- Some people believe they have all the answers. Watch out!
- In order to know the answer, one must first know the question.
- The questions may be complex or confusing.
- One may learn lessons they really did not want to learn.
- The harder you work, the luckier you get.
NOW HEAR THIS:
Courtesy of Hillary Clinton, New York City
- Trump did promise America first.
- To all the little girls watching...never doubt that you are valuable and powerful & deserving of every chance & opportunity in the world.
- From those on the front lines to those saving lives by staying at home, let’s remember to be kind to each other, be patient, and remember the power of our collective humanity, even when we’re apart.
- Get involved in this election in one of the places where it will count the most.
- I’m not sitting here some little woman standing by my man like Tammy Wynette.
- Do I still love Bill? Can I still be in this marriage without becoming unrecognizable to myself — twisted by anger, resentment, or remoteness? The answers were always yes. So I kept going.
- My political career was long, and over three decades of activity in national politics I was frequently on the wrong side of history.
- To be able to forgive Bill I needed to rely on my inner self rather than the court of public opinion.
- I was never found guilty of any criminal or irresponsible action.
Editor’s note: I disliked Hillary until I did some digging into her career in politics and family life. A great lady she is!
(On wind energy)
Courtesy of Phil Kirby and Karen Hunter, Guelph ON.
- Damn the costs we need windmill power to be a world leader in green energy.
- Ice debris and sub sonic sound waves from wind turbines? Are you kidding me? Who ever heard of that?
- Forget neighborhoods and property owners ...the wind was here first
- Build them everywhere. We will all get sick but we’ll lead the world and save the planet! But look at the energy produced. Yes at a cost of $250,000 per home. Do the math.
- But it will create jobs. Sure it will …snow jobs. (Industry and manufacturing depend on low cost energy).
- But it’s the Provincial Government’s pet project; it must be good.
- But 500,000 ordinary Ontarians can’t tell us “green gods” (with our hooded and corrupt lawyers and politicians) what to do!
- But scientists are on our side. (Why do advocates claiming this as gospel always fail to identify or name these so-called experts?).
- Better not fart.
MORONIC ONTARIO DRIVING HABITS
- Do not use your turn indicator. It’s darn hard work and your unannounced moves will keep other drivers on their toes.
- When turning left and faced with a green light but some oncoming traffic, be sure to stay well behind the white line.
- Do not proceed to the middle of the intersection as this may allow another driver to complete his left turn when the light finally changes.
- Do text while driving. It’s important to let the person you’re texting know that you’ll be there in four minutes. And again your lack of driving focus will keep those other pesky drivers sharp.
- When turning left be sure to pull into the far right lane immediately. Frequently those drivers who are in that lane need to be cut off so as to prevent their speeding.
- Remember wide sweeping turns use more of the road for which Ontarians helped to pay.
- After you have completed a turn or a lane change switch on your turn signal. It’s important that other drivers be aware of what you have just done.
- If you are in a line-up at a stoplight stay back at least three or four car lengths from the car in front, especially if there is a designated left turn lane ahead. This will prevent anyone using an advanced left turn light and thus reduce the chance of an accident during a dangerous driving maneuver.
- Focus on your conversation with your passenger. Personal relationships are important and you probably don’t even know the driver behind you.
- Tailgate. This will keep traffic flowing and, again, will keep the driver in front on her toes.
- If there has been a snowfall, do not clear your back window. You will not be aware of traffic patterns, but hey, snow is a good insulator and will help keep your car toasty.
- Most importantly, if driving on a four-lane highway, get into the left lane and drive at or slower than the posted speed limit. Stay in this lane. If people wish to pass, let them do so on your right. It’s the Ontario way!
Editor’s Notes:
- We could all be better drivers if we recognize that others have the right to use the roads as well. Let’s be more aware of our road mates and the result will be more responsible drivers and less road rage.
- It’s ok to have preferences; however, don’t let those preferences do harm to others!
- Avoid brainwashing!
Why are there so few friends to love?
THE LEMON:
Awarded to Trump for his jumbled speeches, inane tweets and hairdo.














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