THE MESSAGE:
Have I discovered some clever ways of coping with this dreaded disease?
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| LOOK AT THAT IDIOT! HEY LOSER! |
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| THIS RESEMBLES FATHER DONOVAN |
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| TRUCK OFF |
My 'road rage' is born of one or more of the following: Bad drivers, aggressive drivers, unskilled drivers, drivers failing to signal turns or lane changes, semis using the passing lane, or passing lane blockers who refuse to move over.
The flashing and timer hand for pedestrians at busy intersections prevents cars from turning and holds up road traffic. They should not enter an intersection when a stop hand is solid and red. No flashing timer is required.
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| WHY THE TIME? WHAT DOES THE HAND MEAN? |
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| PEDESTRIAN DEATHS ARE SPIKING! DUH! |
Lane blocking taxi cab 'wait lines' should be moved off the streets.
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| "Hey mate don't butt in. I've been waiting for half an hour!" |
Inconsiderate 'jay-walkers' need to be fined.
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| "OH YES, I SAW HER YESTERDAY" |
Delivery trucks blocking a lane and bikers on streets with no designated bike lane must be banned!
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| HEY BUDDY WHY DON'T WE MEET AT THE NEXT FOOD JOINT? |
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| "WHAT'S HIS PROBLEM?" |
One way streets must be strategically created in all directions. Uncoordinated traffic lights need to be fixed.
Poorly planned construction or road repair must be eliminated.
THE BLURB:
Here are some emergency solutions to the problem of 'road rage':
Several years ago I discovered that I had been cursed with an alter ego. His name is 'Stronzo'; however, I call him 'Stupid Man'. Psychologists refer to this as a mental health issue; however, I am convinced that it is a blessing in disguise. He provides me with a ready excuse for innapropriate behaviours. To my mind, blaming him for the occasional rant, becomes an easy exit for me and a seemingly suitable end to the disapproval of others. "Stupid man came out!"
Classical music playing on the car radio has proven to be, for me, a soothing and calming force in dealing with my road rage impulses. It is not a perfect solution when I am accompanied by any of my wonderful grandkids. The reason is blatantly obvious. "Do we have to listen to this?" "Come on Nonno, welcome to 2017". When one of the darlings is in the 'shotgun' seat they always change the station in order to listen to their favourite rapper. My road range has a tendency to come to the surface as they exacerbate the issue by accusing me of being a bad driver.
It is at times such as these when I resort to my mantric solution, deep breathing and repeating the word 'RELAX' to myself. This technique has proven helpful to me in most stress evoking situations.
I have some final and most sensible solutions. Always allow an extra fifteen minutes to reach your intended destination. Bring a tablet with you in the car for those situations where you are supposed to pick up one of your in-laws or relatives at the airport. They will seldom be on time. (God bless the cell phone parking lot!). Make use of an Airport Limo, the Airport Express train, Uber or Taxis. Save your energy, avoid frustration and leave your car parked in the garage!
Always leave room in your nightly prayers to contemplate what kind of person you want to be the next day. A shot of fine brandy can be helpful.
Always leave room in your nightly prayers to contemplate what kind of person you want to be the next day. A shot of fine brandy can be helpful.
THE QUESTION:
Am I crazy?
I wasn't asking you, Byron!
THE QUOTE:
"If you have faith and trust and develop the right attitudes and controls, God will open up new roads and better, more considerate drivers. Pedestrians? Not so much!" - Tony at Ten
THE LEMON:
Awarded to the traffic cop at the Rogers Centre, Toronto on Thursday April 20, 2017 for hesitancy, confusion and incompetence. He shoulda stayed home!
THE CLIP:
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