THE MESSAGE:
Believe it.......or NOT
FLORIDA LEADS THE WORLD IN SHARK ATTACKS!
Women in Florida have started taking underwater self-defence classes. In the first lesson students are taught to quickly determine the sex of the creature. Male sharks have claspers. pictured here.
The women are taught that turning your index finger in tight circles usually gets the shark to turn over and reveal its underbelly and 'rude bits'. If it is a male shark, students are shown how to coax him into making gentle contact by using an alluring, overhead arm circle with a full body arch and pouty lips. Then when the shark is trying to figure out what you are doing, students are taught to deliver a short crisp blow to his private parts (claspers) and swim like hell for the boat.
If it is determined to be a female shark (no claspers), forget the arm circles part and swim like hell for the boat.
JUSTICE?
Days after a jury did not find Michael Dunn guilty of murdering Jordan Davis in another polarizing Florida trial, people on both sides of the case railed against what they see as injustice in the divisive verdict. Dunn fired on the car of four black teens who wouldn’t turn down their “rap crap” outside a Jacksonville convenience store in November 2012. One of the youths was killed.
TURN DOWN THE MUSIC. I CAN'T HEAR MYSELF YELLING!
The judge declared a mistrial on the charge of first-degree murder against Dunn, 47. But the jury of seven women and five men did find the software engineer guilty of three counts of attempted murder. Those guilty verdicts equate to a mandatory 60-year prison sentence — effectively life in prison. Some wanted a conviction on first degree murder.
THE SELFIE?
HELLE: "HI MY NAME IS HELLE THORNING SCHMIDT. WILL YOU PLEASE TAKE OUR PICTURE?"
BARAK: "COME ON MICHELLE, IT WAS ONLY A PICTURE."
HELLE: "OH THANKS BARACK YOU'RE SOOO CHARMING!"
HELLE: "IS MICHELLE NOT FEELING WELL?"
BARAK; "SHE'S FINE. SHE JUST INSISTS I GO AND GET HER A SNACK."
HELLE: "WHAT DID SHE JUST CALL ME?"
BARAK: "ALRIGHT MICHELLE, DON'T START ANYTHING PHYSICAL. I'LL GO GET THE DAMN SNACKS!"
BARAK: "I KNEW BLOODY WELL SHE DIDN'T WANT ANY SNACKS."
HELLE: "LET ME SEE. WHO CAN I TRY NEXT?"
BEWARE THE LAW
A police officer was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the police officer's credibility .....
A: 'No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away.'
Q: 'Officer, who provided this description?'
A: 'The officer who responded to the scene.'
Q: 'A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?'
A: 'Yes, sir. With my life.'
Q: 'With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?'
A: 'Yes sir, we do!'
Q: 'And do you have a locker in the room?'
A: 'Yes, sir, I do.'
Q: 'And do you have a lock on your locker?'
A: 'Yes, sir.'
Q: 'Now, why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?'
A: 'The officer who responded to the scene.'
Q: 'A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?'
A: 'Yes, sir. With my life.'
Q: 'With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?'
A: 'Yes sir, we do!'
Q: 'And do you have a locker in the room?'
A: 'Yes, sir, I do.'
Q: 'And do you have a lock on your locker?'
A: 'Yes, sir.'
Q: 'Now, why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?'
The courtroom EXPLODED with laughter, and a prompt recess was called.
'Who are you now'- BARBARA STRIESAND
Who are you now,
Now that you're mine?
Are you something more
Than you were before?
Are you warmer in the rain,
Are you stronger for my touch,
Am I giving too little
By my lovin' you too much?
How is the view,
Sunny and green?
How do you compare it to
The views you've seen?
I know I am better, braver and surer too,
But you--are you now--
Who are you now?
Are you someone better for my love?
Now that you're mine?
Are you something more
Than you were before?
Are you warmer in the rain,
Are you stronger for my touch,
Am I giving too little
By my lovin' you too much?
How is the view,
Sunny and green?
How do you compare it to
The views you've seen?
I know I am better, braver and surer too,
But you--are you now--
Who are you now?
Are you someone better for my love?
MY MOM USED TO SAY: "I frutti proibiti sono i più dolci." (THE FORBIDDEN FRUIT IS THE SWEETEST)
QUESTION:
QUOTE:
"Who are we? We find that we live on an insignificant planet of a humdrum star lost in a galaxy tucked away in some forgotten corner of a universe in which there are far more galaxies than people."-Carl Sagan
WIMP OF THE WEEK TO:
John Kerry: For postulating that Climate change is as big a threat as terrorism, poverty, and weapons of mass destruction.
THE CLIP:
THE HAWK CHASING A SQUIRREL. A GREAT RACE!
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