Sunday, February 9, 2014

FINAC, THE GREAT PHLOSOPHER; BLOG # 123 ;MAR 21, 2014





INTRODUCING

THE GREAT FINAC 




FINAC WRITES


FRIENDSHIP:

"You know you have a very best friend when...."



WHO LEFT THE SEATS UP? YOU GO FIRST.
NO YOU GO.
WELL WE'RE ALL FRIENDS HERE. OK.




WISDOM:

MY MOM USED TO SAY
"Chi ha bisogno, domandi." (Asking is not a sin, and being refused is not a pity.) 




KEEPING SECRETS:







WORRIES:

"The less you give a damn the happier you will be."
















MEMORIES:

YESTERDAY - THE BEATLES
  
Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away
Now it looks as though they're here to stay
Oh, I believe in yesterday


Suddenly, I'm not half the man I used to be

There's a shadow hanging over me.

Oh, I yesterday came suddenly



Why she had to go I don't know she wouldn't say

I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday



Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play

Now I need a place to hide away

Oh, I believe in yesterday



Why she had to go I don't know she wouldn't say

I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday



Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play

Now I need a place to hide away

Oh, I believe in yesterday

Mm mm mm mm mm mm mm













THINKING IT THROUGH: 

"All good things are wild and free." REALLY?


DON'T FORGET MISTER SKUNK!




I'M WILD AND FEELING FREE TO
GIVE YOU A LITTLE GIFT
HERE YOU GO









FALSE PROMISES:

"Time heals all wounds"...  NOT ALWAYS!

WHAT IF YOUR WIFE 'PASSES THE TIME' WHEN THE ALARM  FOR THAT EARLY GOLF GAME WAKENS HER ?
ARRRG! RIGHT IN THE GOOLIES!







 MISGUIDED THINKING:

"Well behaved women rarely make history."


Don't forget Mother Theresa






"Women are incapable of leadership roles" 

HOLD ON CHAUVIN! GET WITH THE TIMES!

SO A MAN SAYS!

WOMAN'S REACTION!











FATALISM: 

"Everything happens for a reason"

HEY PADDY, TINGS BE MOSTLY CALM TDAY
BUT SOON DE RIOTS' ER COMIN IN DOOBLIN 



DOES ANYONE CARE?





STATISTICALLY SPEAKING:

YELLING for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days would  produce enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.  (Hardly seems worth it.)
FARTING daily for 6 years and 9 months, would produce enough gas to create the energy of an atomic bomb (Now that's more like it!)



ORGASM: A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.




(In the next life, they wants to be pigs.)






COCKROACHES will live nine days without a head before starving to death. (Creepy, but I'm still not over the pig.)



MALE PRAYING MANTIS cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. (Honey, I'm home . What the...?)
SORRY DEAR I MUST HAVE LOST MY HEAD



FLEAS 
NO I DON'T HAVE WINGS! SEE!
They can jump 350 times their body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field 


......(30 minutes. That lucky pig! Can you imagine?)



CATFISH have over 27,000 taste buds.
I'M SO UGLY I CAN TASTE IT!




LIONS (some) mate over 50 times a day.
HEY NUMBER 51, GET LOST I'M POOPED




ELEPHANTS are the only animals that cannot jump.
(Okay, so that would be a good thing.)




OSTRICH  eyes are bigger than their brains.
(I know some people like that.)
I CAN SEE YOU BUT I CAN'T FIGURE OUT WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE



STARFISH have no brains.
(I know some people like that, too.)
THAT'S MY NAUGHTY FINGER!


HUMANS AND DOLPHINS are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
 (What about that pig? Do the dolphins know about the pig?)

QUESTION:

CAN YOU IMAGINE THAT LUCKY PIG? 

QUOTE:

"I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it."-George Bernard Shaw

HERO OF THE WEEK:  

YOU GUESSED IT!

JEALOUSY WILL GET YOU NOWHERE!






THE CLIP:

CAMERA FALLS FROM A SKY DIVING PLANE AND LANDS IN.......A PIG PEN! WAS IT LOOKING TO CAPTURE THE 30 MINUTE ORGASM?








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