THE COMEBACK:

Go to hell!

When the devil tells me your out of there I’ll think about it.

THE MESSAGE:

As a coach, teacher of Health Education for many years and an instructor at the Ontario Leadership Centre, I was exposed to programs that included discipline, trial and error Learning, making free choices, values education, and the importance of trust and leadership skill development. What follows is content that I hold to be valuable insight into responsible parenting.

Positive discipline teaches and guides children and becomes a key component in establishing a comforting and productive family environment. It helps your child grow up to be a happy, caring person who has: self-esteem, respect for others and some tools that are helpful in dealing with the many challenges encountered in living in a complicated world.

THE CONCEPTS

Throughout the process of providing effective discipline and guidance in early childhood it is crucial for parents to know these rules.

1. PROVIDE APPROPRIATE REWARDS OR PUNISHMENTS FOR CHOICES MADE.

2. AVOID PHYSICAL PUNISHMENT

3. HAVE RESPECT FOR YOUR CHILD’S THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS.

4. ENJOY AND ENCOURAGE YOUR CHILD’S IDEAS AND CONTRIBUTIONS.

5. DEVELOP TRUST BY BEING HONEST WITH YOUR CHILD AND KEEPING PROMISES MADE.

6. ACTIVELY LISTEN WHEN YOUR CHILD TALKS.

7. MONITOR THEIR USE OF ELECTRONIC DEVICES.

8. PROVIDE INSIGHT INTO THE PROCESS INVOLVED IN TRIAL AND ERROR LEARNING.

Children benefit from freely made age-appropriate choices. A parent should never allow children to make choices that are beyond their maturity level or choices that would expose the child to permanent harm. A child's choice should never be permitted to affect other family members.

9. TEACH RESPECT FOR OTHERS.

10. SPEND QUALITY TIME WITH YOUR CHILD DAILY.

TONY TODAY:

AS THE CHILD MATURES INTO THE PRE TEEN AND TEENAGE YEARS

Set limits and boundaries that are necessary for the teens safety and responsibility. Setting limits for your teenager is very important because it gives your teen structure and boundaries. When you do these things, your teen will grow up with good morals and values and pass on those morals on to their children. Here is how you can imprint this on to your teenager.

Set up family meetings and give your teen a chance to voice opinions about certain issues while sharing their feelings.
Be a parent that is not too strict and not too easy but somewhere in the middle. Teach your teen how to think and don't tell them what to think.
Inspire your teen to always use their own good judgment. Remember, you can't force your teen to do anything.
Explain the difference between respect and blind obedience.

PLANNING AND SETTING GOALS

Decide on the long term goal. Think about its purpose and value.
Decide on the steps you will take to achieve it.
Decide on barriers to the goal and plan on how to remove them.
Analyze your success and failure continually.
Write down activities to help achieve the goal.
Set intermediate goals and deadlines to achieve them.
Get to know your teens' friends.

Do not underestimate the effects of world or local disasters and disorders on your teen. Be on the lookout for:

new behaviour problems at home or school,
new learning problems,
continuous angry outbursts or tantrums,
changes in usual social activity or play with other children,
frequent nightmares or problems sleeping,
ongoing physical problems, such as stomach upset, headaches,
ongoing eating problems; sudden weight gain or loss,
feeling very anxious or afraid,
being sad or depressed,
expressing hopelessness about life or the future,
increased risk-taking,
using alcohol, street drugs, or unprescribed medications, or
talking about suicide, or self-harm.