THE COMEBACK:

AM I A FILTHY PIG?

YES BUT SEX IS NOT EVERYTHING!

THE MESSAGE:

The world is full of people whose existence is truly amazing. When one considers the benefits of exploring the human mind, it goes without saying that his reality is totally related to the amount of time spent on reading the works of philosophers, psychologists, poets, historians, politicians, and others who have proven worthy of some consideration. I have discovered that no matter where you begin; it always follows that whomever you find yourself reading will encourage you to keep doing it! One of the few alternatives to reading the works of others is to live with a saintly woman for a lengthy period of time. Her love, patience, honesty and unselfishness will rub off on you somewhat unless you are blind, without courage and hopelessly stupid.

TONY TODAY:

FRIENDSHIP:

You know you have a very best friend when this reminder is heard more than once. If this is you then either sit to pee or go outside.

WISDOM:

MY MOM USED TO SAY,
"Chi ha bisogno, domandi." Her message can be translated to be, "Being in need begs attention. and asking is not a sin."

KEEPING IT IN THE FAMILY OR NOT

WORRY INCREASES THE PROBLEM:

"The less you give a damn the happier you will be."

BUT THINKING IT THROUGH IS CRUCIAL:

"All good things are wild and free." REALLY?

DON'T FORGET MISTER SKUNK!

I'M WILD AND FEELING FREE TO
GIVE YOU A LITTLE GIFT

HERE YOU GO

FALSE PROMISES:

“Time heals all wounds"... not always!

What if your pregnant wife 'passes the time' when the alarm for that early golf game wakens her ?

ARRRG! RIGHT IN THE GOOLIES!

MISGUIDED THINKING:

Well behaved women rarely make history; however, don't forget Mother Theresa

Women are incapable of leadership roles”

HOLD ON CHAUVIN! GET WITH THE TIMES!

SOME MEN SAY!

WOMAN'S REACTION!

FATALISM:

"Everything happens for a reason"

HEY PADDY, TINGS BE MOSTLY CALM TDAY
BUT SOON DE RIOTS' ER COMIN IN DOOBLIN

STATISTICALLY SPEAKING:

YELLING for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days would produce enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it.)

FARTING daily for 6 years and 9 months, would produce enough gas to create the energy of an atomic bomb (Now that's more like it!)

SEX: A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.

THE STUFF:

COCKROACHES will live nine days without a head before starving to death. (Creepy, but I'm still not over the pig.)

MALE PRAYING MANTIS cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. (Honey, I'm home . What the...?)

FLEAS They can jump 350 times their body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field
NO I DON'T HAVE WINGS! SEE!

CATFISH have over 27,000 taste buds.
I'M SO UGLY I CAN TASTE IT!

LIONS (some) mate over 50 times a day.
HEY NUMBER 51, GET LOST I'M POOPED

ELEPHANTS are the only animals that cannot jump. (Okay, so that would be a good thing right.)