THE MESSAGE:
"Growing up is hard to do." Reflecting on my own experience I can identify 6 stages of development in a man's life. Parental involvement at a very early age is critical.
Some Children's Problems:
Tantrums may start when your child is a toddler, but plenty of children continue to have them when they reach the elementary school years.
Kids love to argue. It's how they exercise their independence. If you have a child in elementary school, there is a really good chance you have, at some point, found yourself right in the middle of a power struggle.
Recognize the difference between vindictive manipulation and harmless manipulation. Your child may turn on the charm because he wants something. Of more concern is when he tries to overpower you by being mean or making threats.
Dealing with Problems.
Talk to his teacher at school Create routines for your child and household. Children thrive on routines and need to know what is expected of them.
Use a behaviour chart to keep kids from throwing tantrums or engaging in struggles. Give your child a checkmark for each day he avoids one of these unacceptable behaviours, After a set number of days, give him a reward for his positive behaviour.
Pick your battles. Not every little thing is worth going to the mat for, especially if you have a child who loves to argue and engage in power struggles.
Give your child a warning. The more he knows and can expect, the better he will be prepared for the consequences.
Be consistent, use positive discipline techniques and insist on suitable consequences for bad choices. One of the most important things in a child's life is consistency.
THE BLURB:
STAGE 1. THE EARLY YEARS:
Some believe that personalities developed at this stage remain relatively constant.
Recent studies compared teacher personality ratings with videotaped interviews of the same subjects 40 years later. The researchers noted that there was a strong correlation between how the subjects saw themselves as adults and how their teachers saw them as children. They used four personality traits:
Talkativeness: Talkative children showed more interest in conversation and control as adults. Some also appeared to be condescending and sarcastic.
Adaptability: Highly adaptive children were able to face tough situations with ease as adults. Those who were less adaptive as children, struggled and sometimes gave up when faced with tough situations.
Impulsiveness: Impulsive children were noted as being loud, talkative adults. More reserved children were quieter and more timid adults.
Self-minimizing behaviour: Humble children expressed guilt, sought reassurance, and expressed insecurity as adults. Children who showed very little humility were mostly louder as adults.
Crucial Development
At this stage in one's life he needs a family, guidance, role models, nurturing, proper schooling and an understanding that it is ok to be wrong, to make mistakes and that trial and error learning is a valuable tool.
STAGE 2. THE TEENAGER:Crucial Development
At this stage in one's life he needs a family, guidance, role models, nurturing, proper schooling and an understanding that it is ok to be wrong, to make mistakes and that trial and error learning is a valuable tool.
AS A GENERAL RULE:
Everything stinks; their car, their closet, their bedroom and especially their hockey equipment. When they are not sleeping, they are eating. They will take risks and they think they know everything.
THERE IS MORE BELOW THE SURFACE:
Some boys are the quiet type. Other boys are loud and everything is fair game. There is even more going on in the boys' minds than you can imagine. The teen years can be full of turbulent thoughts, self-doubt, and self-examination.
TEMPTATION IS EVERYWHERE:
The teenage years are confusing for boys. The physical changes they’re experiencing can be scary and embarrassing.
THEY CARE ABOUT HOW THEY LOOK:
They actually care about how he smelled, and how they would be perceived by others. They might be embarrassed to admit it, but acne bothers him, or he feels bad about his height or the clothes he wears.
INTERACTION WITH TEEN GIRLS:
Some teen boys don’t know how to interact with girls. A teen might be handsome in high school but he could also be very shy. The only girls he has ever dated were the ones who pursued him. He has no clue how to talk to girls, let alone ask them out.
THEY STILL CRY:
Remember, our teenage boys may look like young men on the outside, but inside, their brains are still figuring out how to deal with the more adult world. A teen must be able to cry and express himself.
SUCCESS LATER IN LIFE:
Teenagers who are better-tempered at the ages of 16 and 18 are significantly more likely to earn a higher than average wage by age 29.
A study of more than 10,000 Americans found that those who had a profoundly unhappy adolescence earned about 30 per cent less than average, while those who were particularly happy as teenagers earned 10 per cent more. They generally have more challenging jobs and happier relationships.
By his mid 20 the young man wrestles with the concept that perception is reality. The way he interprets and understands the world directly affects his beliefs and the way he lives his life. Perception creates bias as much as it creates understanding and also creates as much fear as it does curiosity.
Perception can close the eyes and or the mind. Does the young man want his reality to be narrow or vast? Will the bliss that ignorance provides be sufficient, or does he need more?
The truth is most people want more. Even if it is on a subconscious level. Humans tend to seek new and exciting challenges. From cradle to the grave, our society emphasizes the importance of education. Learning and discovering is what we do, but still it is increasingly hard to understand what you don't understand. So how does he learn to know what he doesn't know? Key questions: What don't I know? and What do I want to learn more about?
Everything is temporary
Good times and bad times are temporary. The mid life man has to learn to enjoy the good times and be tough through the bad times. He must realize that it's not the end but only a rough patch. Life is full of twists and turns, ups and downs, and surprises. He must never forget that it's about the journey not the destination. There is a lesson in everything. Stay humble and be grateful for the joys that life brings.
The importance of being in the present
A mid life man must never worry about what's to come. While it's crucial to care and consider and plan for the future, he must be careful not to let the future hinder the present. He should concentrate on enjoying the moments in his present life. Worrying is never productive.
Living in the past is equally unproductive. There are definitely benefits in being able to reflect on yourself and on your past. Paying attention to what you've been through and how that makes you feel matters. It takes a lot of emotional energy to grieve, process, and overcome.
The ability to reflect productively on past mistakes, and to prioritize your future, while spending the majority of your day in the present, is beyond valuable, it's life changing.
Do what you love, love what you do
If you aren't happy in your career, that unhappiness will seep into other aspects of your life. And while nothing is perfect, it's important to work on yourself and position yourself to reach the goals and satisfactions you desire. This also applies to your life away from work. Success does not come from a single triumphant moment. Rather it is a series of moments leading up to bigger moments. Making better choices should be a constant pursuit.
STAGE 5. THE WISER MAN
The wiser man's lifetime is a series of developments and personal growth. The happiest men tend to be the ones who've worked the most on themselves.
At this stage in life a man should know that being happy takes as much work as being unhappy. It really is a common sense choice that he must make. Being happy means that the wiser man has decided to take control of his life and become the man he wants to be rather than a victim.
At this stage in life a man should know that being happy takes as much work as being unhappy. It really is a common sense choice that he must make. Being happy means that the wiser man has decided to take control of his life and become the man he wants to be rather than a victim.
The hard working wiser man never compares himself to other people. It's easy to get caught up in jealousy and wanting what other men have. Most often, the perception of someone else's life is a fallacy. Even if it isn't, a wise man will focus on the journey and path that he has laid out for himself.
STAGE 6. THE OLD MAN:
He has become less judgmental.
Just because I had a passing knowledge of most things as a teen or young man at age 20 doesn't mean I am an expert in all of them at age 65. (and beyond)
Just because I had a passing knowledge of most things as a teen or young man at age 20 doesn't mean I am an expert in all of them at age 65. (and beyond)He is less trusting.
I don't trust everyone. Not everyone will be a friend. I have Stopped wasting time with people who don't support and understand me.
He enjoys Spending time with his wife.
The most fantastically rewarding experience.
He tries to Handle stress.
It sounds weird, but in my early 20s I was a workaholic that could deal with anything but injustice.
He works at harnessing anger.
Becoming more diplomatic has been a slow, difficult process primarily because there have been a lot of old habits that had to be broken.
He is capable of forgiveness.
Hating and holding grudges are easy traps but they cause stress and use up too much energy.
Things he needs to work on.
To have the clarity to be the person who I am today..
To be non judgmental about self and others.
To be not taken for granted
THE QUESTION:
How much harm is done to our youth by the following: Poor parenting, Split marriages, School bullies, Bad schools, Drugs, Social media and Violence in the world? The list goes on!
THE QUOTE:
"If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present." -
Lao Tzu
THE LEMON:
THE LEMON:
Awarded to AL Gore for not revealing the whole picture of the impacts of fossil fuels-- their benefits and the risks. Rather, Gore has given us a deeply biased picture that completely ignores fossil fuels’ indispensable benefits and wildly exaggerates their impact on climate.
THE CLIP:
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