Tony At 10: THE DREADED GOUT; NOVEMBER 27, 2015

THE MESSAGE:

Oh dear! Tony was heard to holler "Mania!". What tragedy could have caused such an outburst? Is there a justifiable cause? What does the curse mean in English? Let me explain.

Who ever heard of an Italian with the gout? Mania! What a wonderful word, 'Mania', as it has a myriad of meanings for me.

Not my mom! but the
Expression is there.

My dear Sicilian mother used to whisper "mania" (loosely translated as crazy), when confronted with something that didn't make sense to her.

If she yelled mania (hinting at rage), with a closed fist, I believed it reflected her displeasure at one thing or another. As a youngster I always left these scenes on the run.

If mania was accompanied by a smile she meant it must be some sort of trick or harmless prank.

The thought or suggestion of store-bought Pizza often invoked a maternal mania, accompanied by a shoulder shrug to indicate that, 'grazie a dio' (thank goodness) it was only a fad which would soon disappear.

Mom loved playing euchre with friends and relatives. Mania was heard several times expressing the various emotions associated with Italians playing cards. The loudest outcry came from Mom whenever she caught my dad playing unfairly (cheating). He paid for it the next day.

MOVING RIGHT ALONG.......

Jack, my dear father-in -law, suffered from gout; however, he was of Irish heritage, drank copious quantities of beer and red wine, consumed a lot of very rare beef and always demanded under done chicken. Gout seemed to be, for him, a just consequence.

When struck with a bout of the malady, he was always in severe and obvious agony.

On one occasion, his daughter Jane, who had an injured foot which required crutches, wanted to show off how fast she could navigate the living room with the devices. Her speed was startling but she managed to plant a crutch on Jack's gout ridden foot.

Needless to say there was much panic and commotion that followed..... Screaming, writhing pain, arm flailing, bouncing up and down in his chair, dewy eyes and Jane running away without the aid of crutches. I never heard Jack swear; however, one can be sure he did not yell Mania!

This scene would have been an occasion when Mom would have exclaimed "Mania!". Probably not in an effort to comfort Jack.

Most likely you don't want to hear about my petty afflictions. But you're going to. So sit back, relax and keep reading.

Whatever has happened to me, a first generation son of Italian immigrants? Surely gout is not a common occurrence for such a fine lad in his later years.

Yes, I still drink a little red wine but very seldom a cold beer. My diet includes some well done red meat and chicken; but, lots of salads, berries and pineapple.

MANIA!

It may be argued that slightly failed hearing, an occasional blurring of vision, aching, tired and untoned muscles, heart problems, indigestion and poor circulation are to be accepted as normal afflictions. But the gout..... not so much!