THE MESSAGE:
THE END OF THE WORLD: “A TALE OF TWO CITIES” by what the Dickens
FIVE SIGNS OF DOOM FROM TORONTO
1. WHEN HELL FREEZES OVER AND THE MAPLE LEAFS WIN
THE STANLEY CUP.
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| I 'LL GET HIM. YOU TAKE HIM |
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| NO I MEAN REALLY GO! AS IN AWAY |
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| WAIT WAIT....HANG IN THERE! |
2. WHEN TRAFFIC JAMS GET SO BAD THAT PEOPLE VOTE
FOR OLIVIA CHOW IN DESPERATION.
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| STREET CARS? |
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| OKAY, BRING IN THE BULLDOZERS |
3. WHEN SOMEONE DISCOVERS A MAIN STREET IN TORONTO
THAT DOES NOT HAVE CONSTRUCTION ON IT.
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| BUT NOT THIS ONE! |
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| WHERE THE HELL AM I? |
4. WHEN PEDESTRIANS FINALLY LEARN AND OBEY THE
INTERSECTION LIGHTS
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| "WE'RE ONLY 4YDS FROM THE INTERSECTION IF WE RUN WE CAN MAKE IT ACROSS!" |
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| IT AINT GONNA HAPPEN |
5. WHEN FOUR MILLION PEOPLE STOP VOTING LIBERAL
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| "HOWDY PARDNER; FIX THE GARDNER. I WON'T" |
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| "THAT WAS McGUINTY NOT ME" |
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| WHAT! A DOWNTOWN AIRPORT IN A LARGE COSMOPOLITAN CITY? SERIOUSLY? WITH JETS? |
FIVE SIGNS OF DOOM FROM BOSTON
1. WHEN IT SNOWS A LOT. DAMN THOSE RED SOX
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| SNOWMAGEDDON BOSTON 2015 |
2. WHEN BIG PAPPY DOESN’T SPIT ON HIS GLOVES AND
CLAP THEM TOGETHER
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| SPIT MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE! |
3. WHEN IT'S EASY TO FIND A PARKING SPOT DOWNTOWN
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| THE SIGN SAYS WERE FULL DAMMIT! |
4. WHEN THE ROAD SIGN DECISION MAKERS FINALLY GIVE
A HIGHWAY ONLY ONE NUMBER.
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| "IN GOD WE TRUST" |
5. WHEN LOCALS LEARN HOW TO PRONOUNCE ‘FANEUIL
HALL’ OR THEY CHANGE THE SPELLING TO ‘FAN YELL HALL’
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| FAN YELL! GET IT? |
THE QUESTION:
WHERE'S THE CONSTRUCTION AT?
THE QUOTE:
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| tweet tweet "What the caterpillar calls the end of the world the master calls a butterfly." -Richard Bach |
THE LEMON:
To Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi as the leader of a group that beheads hostages and is responsible for the deaths of people who do not believe in a religious system that kills in the name of a supreme being.
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| al-Baghdadi |
THE CLIP:
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