BLOG NUMBER 78; MAY 3, 2013; CORN BALL HUMOUR

CORNY BUT CUTE:

1) PRICE OF GAS IN FRANCE:
 
 

A man in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre in Paris.





After much careful planning, he managed to get past security.

The thief stole the paintings, and made it safely to his van. 

However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas.





When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error; the thief replied, “Monsieur, that is the reason I stole the paintings.”


Apparently 
he had no Monet 








To buy Degas 



To make da Van Gogh. 

I had De Gaulle to post this.



I figured I had nothing Toulouse. 


OH STOP GROANING.....YOU'LL WAKE THE KIDS.

........BESIDES, IT GETS WORSE!

2) MONICA:

 3) DEAR DIARY:

Wife's Diary:
Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. 

Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn't say much.

I asked him what was wrong; He said, 'Nothing..' I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it. On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior. I don't know why he didn't say, 'I love you, too.'When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep; I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster......

The Husband's Diary:

A two-foot putt..........who the hell misses a two-foot putt?

4. GENERATIONS:

People born before 1946 are called -
TheGreatest Generation.

People born between 1946 and 1964 are called -
The Baby Boomers.



People born between 1965 and 1979 are called -
Generation X.



People born between 1980 and 2010 are called -Generation Y.



Why do we call the last group -Generation Y ?



Y should I get a job?


Y should I leave home and find my own place?


Y should I get a car when I can borrow yours?


Y should I clean my room?


Y should I wash and iron my own clothes?


Y should I buy any food?



But perhaps a cartoonist explained it most eloquently below...


5) A DAUGHTER'S LETTER:

A mother passing by her daughter's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then she saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, "Mom." With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands: 

Dear Mom: 

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new boyfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I've been finding real passion with Didas and he is so nice--even with all his piercings, tattoos, beard, and motorcycle clothes. 

But it's not only the passion Mom, I'm pregnant and Didas said that we will be very happy. He already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. 

He wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too. Didas taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and trading it with his friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. 

In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Didas can get better; he sure deserves it!! Don't worry Mom, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grand children. 

Your daughter, Judith 

PS: Mom, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that's in my desk center drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home.

QUOTE OF THE WEEK:
"It is a curious fact that people are never so trivial as when they take themselves seriously." - Oscar Wilde

CIP OF THE WEEK: