CALL THE GRAMMAR POLICE! BLOG 112, jan 3, 2014

THE MESSAGE: This should evoke a smile. Particularly in light of Germany's influence in the European Theatre.

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiation, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

YEAR ONE

In the first year, "z" will replace the soft "c".. zertainly this will make the zivil zervants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfuzion and keyboards kan have one less letter.

YEAR TWO

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the zekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f".. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

YEAR THREE

In the 3rd year, publik akzeptanze of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are pozzible.

The silent "e" in the languag is dizgrazful and has reached the stag wher it shuld go away. The "ou" or "soft o"or "double o" will bekum zimply "u".

Guvernmentz wil enkurag the remuval uf dubl leterz which have alwayz ben a deterent to akurat zpeling.

Alzo, al wil agre that the horibl mez uf kreating leterz , ezays  and bukz   kan dizaper for gud.

YEAR FOUR

By ze 4z yer, al leterz vil bekum nezezary for gud pronunziazhun only.  Pepl vil bekum rezeptiv to ztepz zuch az replazing "th" viz "z" and "w" viz "v".

YEAR FIVE

During ze fifz yer, ze unezezary "o" kan be dropd frum vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a rel  zenzibl riting  styl.

VAT'Z ZE PROLLEMEN VIZ DAT MEIN HERR? I ZIE NEIN TRUBLZ 

Ozer zingz vat maken zer gud zenz vil okur az ze peple vant zem.

Zer vil bie nein mor trubl or difikultiz unt evrivun vil find itz ezy tu underztand ech oza. Ze drem of a united Urop vil finaly kum tru.

I MAY BE BARMY BUT...Seems like a good idea!

THE QUESTION:  When to speak; when to listen? When to teach; when to learn?

THE QUOTE: "Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see."-MARK TWAIN

THE LEMONS TO: 

ADAM VAUGHAN TORONTO CITY COUNCILLOR?? 

FOR TRYING TO KEEP THE CITY IN THE PAST.

Duh!

THE CLIP: 

A classic example of the 'Pot' calling the 'kettle' black!

By the way, who says Toronto Council's deliberations are worth anything? Most are parochial patsies pandering for power.