THINGS TO MAKE YOU SQUIRM

1.  EARN WHILE YOU SLEEP...





MP’s AT WORK:

Not bad for $10,000/month.   

DON'T FORGET, ON THIS YEAR'S INCOME TAX RETURN, TO LIST THE NAMES OF MEMBERS OF PARLIAMENT AND SENATORS AS YOUR  “DEPENDANTS”
  



I only have to snooze here for six years to get a pension.

I'm not sleeping; I'm thinking about retiring and my cost of living indexed pension

Damn this job is hard. Mulcair never shuts up.  I deserve a raise.

Is it time for lunch yet? I think I'll ask the legislature for a new cafeteria. Taxpayers won't care. We need better Sushi too! 

2. AT AGE 25 LARMONDO ALLEN OF NEW ORLEANS HAD 9 CHILDREN.

HE WAS 25 AND HAD 3 SONS AND 6 DAUGHTERS.

THAT IS 9 WELFARE RECIPIENTS COLLECTING  $950 EACH.

THAT EQUALS $8,550 A MONTH!

NOW ADD FOOD STAMPS, FREE MEDICAL,

 FREE SCHOOL LUNCHES AND ON AND ON.

DO THE MATH... $102,000+/YEAR.

HE DID NOT WORK!

HOW MANY OUT THERE ARE DOING THIS? AND THE MEDIA WHINES ABOUT ROMNEY’S SECRET CELL-PHONE TAPE!

3. ANY PHYSICAL ACTIVITY IS A GOOD THING AND SITTING ON THE COUCH ISN’T DOING YOUR WAISTLINE – OR YOUR HEALTH – ANY FAVOURS.

ACTIVITY LEVEL SLOWS DOWN IN LATE TEENS. STAY ACTIVE; REDUCE OUR HEALTH CARE COSTS AND FEEL BETTER ABOUT YOURSELF.

4. STATISTICS CANADA SAYS ALMOST A THIRD OF CANADIAN CHILDREN ARE EITHER OVERWEIGHT OR OBESE.

MAKE WISE CHOICES AND REDUCE PORTION SIZES. AN OLD ADAGE SAYS: AT BREAKFAST EAT LIKE A KING; AT LUNCH EAT LIKE A PRINCE AND AT SUPPER EAT LIKE A PAUPER.

5. MAN WINS $7.2M LAWSUIT AFTER DEVELOPING ‘POPCORN LUNG’ FROM INHALING ARTIFICIAL BUTTER SMELL OF MICROWAVE POPCORN

DEFENSE ATTORNEYS HAD ARGUED WATSON’S HEALTH PROBLEMS STEMMED NOT FROM POPCORN BUT FROM HIS YEARS OF WORKING WITH CARPET-CLEANING CHEMICALS.

DO WE REALLY NEED TO WONDER WHY THE US ECONOMY IS SO BADLY OUT OF WHACK?

6. MONICA LEWINSKY SHOPPING TELL-ALL BOOK ABOUT TRYST WITH CLINTON:

WOULD HILLARY BUY A COPY?

7. OUR PROVINCE HAS 8,800 ONTARIO PUBLIC SERICE MANAGERS.  THE BROADER PUBLIC SERVICE MANAGERS TOTAL 350,000.  MANAGERS ARE PAID TOP DOLLAR SOME OF WHOM HAVE SALARIES AT 4X THAT OF THE PREMIER.

A) ONTARIO PUBLIC SERVICE MANAGERS ARE INVOLVED WITH THE VARIOUS GOVERNMENT MINISTRIES.

B) BROADER PUBLIC SERVICE MANAGERS INCLUDE:

HOSPITALS, SCHOOL BOARDS, COLLEGES, UNIVERSITIES COMMUNITY CARE ACCESS CORPORATIONS AND CHILDREN’S AID SOCIETIES, PUBLICLY FUNDED ORGANIZATIONS THAT RECEIVED PUBLIC FUNDS OF 10 MILLION DOLLARS OR MORE IN THE PREVIOUS FISCAL YEAR OF THE GOVERNMENT OF ONTARIO.

OUR PROVINCE IS OVER MANAGED AND UNDERPERFORMING!