I READ IT IN THE PAPER!
NEWSPAPER BI-LINES
Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and
Daughter
Ouch!
Something Went Wrong in
Jet Crash, Expert Says
Really? Ya think?
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Toronto Man’s Body Found
in Michigan Dump. Police do not Suspect Foul Play. He must have committed a foul suicide!
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Police Begin Campaign to
Run Down Jaywalkers
Now that's
taking things a bit far!
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Panda Mating Fails;
Veterinarian Takes Over
What a man!
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Miners Refuse to Work
after Death
No-good-for-nothing' lazy
so-and-so's!
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Juvenile Court to Try Shooting
Defendant
See if that works any
better than a fair trial!
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War Dims Hope for Peace
I can see where it might
have that effect!
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If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
More than likely!
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Cold Wave Linked to
Temperatures
Who knew!
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Enfield( London ) Couple
Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
A good start!
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Red Tape Holds Up New
Bridges
You mean there's
something stronger than duct tape?
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Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
He probably IS the
battery charge!
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New Study of Obesity
Looks for Larger Test Group
Guess that group wasn’t
fat enough?!
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Astronaut Takes Blame for
Gas in Spacecraft
Pork and Beans!
----------------
---------------------------------
Kids Make Nutritious
Snacks
Can’t imagine!
****************************************
Local High School Dropouts Cut
in Half
Chainsaw Massacre
all over again!
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Hospitals are Sued by 7
Foot Doctors
Don’t mess with
those guys!
*******************************************
Typhoon Rips Through
Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Did I read that
right?
***************************************************
Scientists may have
discovered “God Particle”
Father, Son or Holy
Spirit?
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